i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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