The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
