Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
