Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
