We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
