Plan B is the new Plan A
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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