hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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