That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
