remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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