Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
