So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
oh god the rape fog is back!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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