the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I would ride that face into the sunset
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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