Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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