i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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