all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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