but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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