When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cockslap morals
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
