I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
