So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
