Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish my penis had a tongue
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
