this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
