he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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