I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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