I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
