My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
