Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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