please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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