Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
