There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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