i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
