guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Mom said you looked used
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
