Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
