there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
