we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
