Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
