R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
