To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
