for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
