Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
