he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
