is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
