Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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