never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
