I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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