no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
