I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
