put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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