It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
