You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
