we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
